


A Service to Provide

by cadkitten



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Temporary Character Death, Coping, Dealing with issues, Dissociation, Gen, Mentions of incontinence, Night Terrors, Pets, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Service Animals, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-11-02 11:43:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20734889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: Damian has to leave the country for a month and Jason ends up caring for both Titus and Damian's service dog, Apollo.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For JayDamiWeek2019 - Pets  
From notes about service dogs I found:  
Dissociation: It's easy to "check out" for long periods of time, but when the dog is fully bonded to the handler, the dog will often need, want, and request attention, thus bringing the handler back to the here and now.  
Night Terrors: Dog wakes handler.  
Beta: kate1zena

Jason was reluctant at first. Damian texted him late one Saturday night and asked if Jason's condo allowed animals. It took him three tries before he didn't type something rude in response; when he did, it was a curt _yes, why?_ and Jason wondered why he even bothered.

The call an hour later yielded him opening his door to Damian with both Titus and another Great Dane. The second was slightly smaller than Titus, a beautiful grayish-silver in color, and wearing a small blue harness compared to Titus' reflective orange one. Jason only gave it a cursory glance and sighed, stepping back and letting Damian and the dogs in. 

Damian made a round through the house, pausing at various doors with both dogs and then came back to the living room and unclipped their leashes. He affectionately stroked both of their ears and then gestured Jason over. 

Jason eyed both dogs warily. He was very aware that he was being used as a pet sitter and it made him a little edgy. It wasn't that he didn't like dogs – hell, he loved it the week he was at the manor and Titus wouldn't leave him alone. It was more that he wasn't sure how he was going to fit caring for two dogs into his schedule. All the walks and playing and food and water and he noted, with alarm, Damian only brought with him a very small bag. All the same, he took a few hesitant steps over and finally reached for Titus, let him sniff and then scratched him behind the ears, the huge dog leaning into him heavily as he moved his fingers.

"Father is sending me out of the country for a week next month. He'll be in Baton Rouge and Alfred is going with him. The only person Titus has ever paid attention to as quickly as me is you, so I thought, perhaps, you could watch them." Damian gestured. "This is Apollo. He's a service dog, so he'll probably want to stay glued to your side... or he may be dismayed he's not going with me. I'm not sure which will happen, but at least with Titus here, he'll be a little familiar."

Jason had been reaching forward to let Apollo sniff his hand but abruptly pulled back, stepping back to give the dog some space. He knew the rules about service animals. They weren't for petting and playing. They were for serious medical conditions and it worried him that Damian hadn't told him about any reason why he might need one. All the same, he also knew it wasn't his business, so instead, he just nodded, awkwardly rubbing his hand on his thigh, his other hand still resting on Titus' head. 

"You can pet him," Damian sounded vaguely amused. "You're going to be caring for him, so you kind of have to be able to handle him. It's different than other people's service animals in this case. He just can't go on the plane overseas with me. There wasn't enough notice to get his vaccinations and everything he'd need."

Jason bobbed his head, hesitantly held his hand back out toward the animal and waited as Apollo sniffed him and then butted his head against his hand. He gave a few scritches and heard the dog's satisfied huff.

Damian stood, handing over the small shoulder bag. "Two bowls, one for water and one for food, for each. A baggie of food. Walk them before midnight and sometime before nine in the morning and they should be fine.” He gestured to where he'd placed the leashes on the side table. “You can just let them in the backyard if you're not up for an actual walk, they'll do their business. I included some of the little bags to pick up anything they leave."

Pursing his lips, Jason took the bag and watched Damian's hesitant little smile. "So you're okay doing this?"

"Not like you _asked_, but yeah, sure."

Damian's smile ticked up at the corner a little more and he headed back for the door. "Call me if anything goes haywire, but I don't predict any issues. By the way, I'm covering your zone so you can be around them both tonight as a test run. I'll come by around noon to get them tomorrow."

With that, Damian stepped outside and closed the door and Jason was left staring at the two dogs. He sighed, kneeling and carefully extracting Titus from his harness, then repeating the process with Apollo. 

_Apollo_. He wanted to snort at the probable reason Damian had named the dog that. Great Danes dated back to around 36 BC and as such had earned the nickname _Apollo of all dogs_. If it wasn't for that, Jason was clueless why Damian had named him like that, but he'd go with it regardless. 

Skirting around the dogs, he went back to the kitchen where he'd been prepping dinner and washed up again before continuing making himself a grilled chicken breast, a thin gravy, and asparagus. He put out the dogs' dinner and water, then sat down to eat his own meal.

After dinner, he spent a few hours watching TV and working on a case before letting the dogs out in the back yard to do their business and then locking up once they were back inside. He took a quick shower and flopped into bed where he spent nearly an hour staring at the ceiling before finally drifting off.

He shifted fitfully in his sleep, breath hitching, body squirming against the covers, hands fisting in the material of his covers.

A wet nose and warm tongue shoved against his side, making him jerk awake. His heart was going a million miles an hour and his body was tensed in a way that told him he'd been well on the way toward one of his episodes. He shuddered, slid his hand down to feel the covers beneath him, only a little wet with sweat and nothing more. He relaxed slightly and tried to decide why he'd woken up this time when he hadn't any other time in his life.

Sitting up, he rubbed at his aching chest and reached for the light beside his bed, flicking the tiny bulb on and blinking at Apollo, who was sitting on the floor beside the bed, huge eyes staring up at him, ears perked. 

He remembered the sensation of wetness on his side and he reached to touch his side, blinking at the dog. Apollo had clearly woken him. He wondered for a moment if it was a fluke or if maybe something in the dog's training had kicked in. He reached out and gently stroked one of the dog's ears, received a gentle huff for his efforts, and when he patted the bed beside him, the dog carefully climbed up and curled up in a way that Jason recalled Titus having done with Damian before. He leaned toward the dog and placed his hand on his soft gray fur, slowly stroking.

He was tired, but he was also none-too-thrilled to go back to sleep with the threat of that particular night terror hedging the edges of his mind. It was always the same: Joker's laugh, the feeling of a crowbar beating him again and again until it became nothing but a dull thump against already shock-numbed skin, bone, and tissue. The fear of his own demise and then the acceptance of it followed by the hope of survival only to acknowledge that there was nothing he could do, no way he could get out and no way for him to survive. He remembered the swell of fear and the catch of his breath, the final few seconds ticking off the timer and then the heat of the explosion and his own scream in that final moment.

He always woke then, drenched in sweat and sometimes his own urine, always shaking and nearly always having to stumble to the bathroom to empty the contents of his stomach. He never managed to sleep after that, sometimes it would be days before exhaustion took over and nearly always it would be just to fall back into the very same pit again.

Apollo gave a soft _woof_ and Jason came back to the present, found his hand was trembling against the dog's fur. He blinked away the images in his mind and stood up, focusing on breathing, the dog standing up and moving along with him, nearly glued to his side as he walked into the living room and grabbed his favorite worn paperback from the side table, curling up on the couch and smiling when Apollo settled at his feet, firmly against one leg. Titus found his way onto the sofa a few minutes later, warm against Jason's side as he read.

Sometime later, Jason drifted off to sleep right there, warm and safe tucked between both dogs, paperback held loosely in his hand, resting against his thighs as he slumped against the couch and slept.

It was nearly nine thirty when Jason woke to the sound of Titus whining. He blinked a half dozen times, squinted against the sunlight shining in through the kitchen window, the angle of his sofa a bit problematic during the morning hours. He carefully dislodged himself from where Apollo had draped himself over his feet and padded toward the back door, aware of Apollo following along beside him. 

Unlocking the door, he let Titus out and stepped aside to let Apollo follow, closing the door behind them and heading to the restroom himself. A few minutes and a whole lot of relief later, he started the coffee maker and waited on it to brew into his travel mug. Once it had, he slapped the lid on it and stepped out onto the back porch, watching Titus roll in the grass, upside down and squirming around. Apollo was trotting around the perimeter, sniffing everything, but the instant Jason came to a stand-still, Apollo came back to him, sitting beside him while he watched Titus. Vaguely, Jason wondered if this was normal behavior for a service animal or if Damian had trained him extra somehow. 

He let Titus roam and roll and mark to his heart's content as he finished up his coffee before issuing a stern command to _come_ and turning to head back inside. Both dogs followed him in and Jason shut the door, locking it again and proceeded through his morning routine. He took his shower only to find Apollo sitting in the doorway. He made breakfast with Apollo quietly watching him from beside the counter, Titus laid out directly in his path between stove and counter. He ate with both dogs under his table and he put his scraps in their bowl, patted both, and moved to the living room to continue with his case.

After eating, both dogs came back to him and when the knock on his door came, Jason found he was almost sad to see them go.

He found Damian on the other side, a knowing glint in his eye when he opened the door. Damian pushed off the railing and brushed in past Jason, giving a low whistle, both dogs instantly at his side. He ran his hand over each dog's fur and Jason moved to get their harnesses, handing them over and watching Damian expertly get first Apollo and then Titus into them. 

Leashes clipped on, both dogs stood at Damian's sides and Jason carefully emptied the remaining kibble into the bin and poured the water down the drain, wiping out the bowls and tucking them back into the bag Damian had brought with him. He kept the baggies to go retrieve anything left in his yard and then handed the rest back over to Damian.

"How'd it go?"

"They were fine." Jason just shrugged, not at all up for letting Damian know his service dog had needed to provide a service to him as well.

Damian nodded, ran his fingers along both their backs and turned to go. "Okay, well, think you're up for keeping them while I'm gone then?"

"Sure."

Jason watched Damian walk away, a small frown on his lips and a heavy feeling in his heart. He closed the door and resolved to push this down just like he did everything else. One way or another, Jason was a survivor and he wasn't about to let the lack of two dogs' presence in his home get him down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blatant description of Jason vomiting. I have a phobia and it skeeved me out writing it. Be warned.

Jason woke to his heart pounding in his chest, a familiar and entirely unwanted sensation of wet sheets beneath him, his clothing sticking to him everywhere. With a heavy sigh, he slid out of bed and blearily grabbed at his sheets, dragging them into a messy pile and carrying them with him across the house.

He pushed the sheets into the washer and stood there, hands shaking, detergent poised over the machine before he felt the sick crawl of bile in his throat. He swallowed it back again and again, pouring in the detergent and quickly stripping, adding his clothing to the disgusting mess. Punching in the proper setting, he winced as saliva filled his mouth, a precursor to the horror he was about to experience. 

Slamming the bathroom door shut, he fell to his knees in front of the toilet and barely leaned over it in time. Acid and bile crawled up his throat and spilled over, the disgusting sound of it hitting the toilet water making him shudder. He hated throwing up, hated the sensation, the taste, the smell, and the visual of it. Everything about it made it worse.

He squeezed his eyes shut and heaved again, something more coming up this time and he gave a violent sob and a hiccuping breath before doing it again.

Two heaves later he was distantly aware the floor between his knees was warm and wet and he hung over the bowl sobbing, hands clutching the handicap railing whoever had owned the house before him had had the insight to install. He hated this part, the complete loss of control due to how hard he was heaving. He hated the shame of it and the fact that he had to clean it up afterward. Blood, he could handle. Hell, he could deal with killing someone who truly deserved it, but he couldn't deal with this. Not with the dreams that forced him to stare his own death in the face on an infinite loop and not with his own vomit and piss.

He shook as he hung there, stomach boiling while he gasped for breath.

A violent shudder ripped through him and he finally moved to flush the toilet. He spat a few times and slowly dragged himself to his feet, yanking his towel down and shoving it over the mess of his own urine, mopping it up and moving like a zombie back through his house to the washer, opening the lid and adding in his soiled towel.

Autopilot pushed him back to the bathroom, encouraged him to use a few Clorox wipes on the floor and some Lysol on the toilet before he stepped into the shower and turned the spray on full-blast, sliding down the wall to sit in it, letting it pound him in the chest while he just tried to breathe.

He waited it out, just like he always did. Waited until the shaking stopped, waited until the sick feeling in his throat ebbed away, and it was only then that he got up and washed himself, careful to scrub every single part of himself. Exiting the shower, he pretended like it was already morning, pretended he hadn't just repeated his worst nightmare again.

It was beyond that point that he found his routine deviating. He found himself on the back porch, coffee mug in hand and an empty spot in his heart that hadn't been there before. Reluctantly, he finished up his coffee and went back inside for the baggies Damian had left, and went about gathering up Apollo and Titus' leavings, depositing them in the trashcan beside his condo and heading back inside, washing up and then proceeding through his day.


	3. Chapter 3

It was with a heavy heart and the weight of the world settled back on his shoulders that Jason finished off the month and started into the next. By the time Damian appeared at Jason's door with the dogs and an enormous bag, Jason could only feel relief. 

He let Damian in and shut the door behind him, immediately taking both dog's leashes and guiding them through the house as Damian had done the first night. Upon arriving back in the living room he knelt and removed their leashes and harnesses, putting them on the end table and affectionately giving both dogs their share of ear scritches. 

Standing, he went to see where Damian had disappeared to. He found him in the bedroom on his knees, carefully laying out two beds, blankets inside. Jason stood in the doorway, watching as Damian fussed over it. When Damian stood, Jason backed up and let him out of the room, trailing behind him to the kitchen where the bowls went back where they'd been the first time. He helped Damian fill them and carefully put the food in his closed pantry, the bag rolled up and clipped on top. 

He cast a glance toward the back door, seeing the little basket of dog toys that Damian kept by the back door of the manor and he smiled a little. He just had to be careful and not get too attached while Damian was gone.

Even as he thought it, he knew that was impossible. Nothing in the world was going to keep him impersonal to these dogs.

"I think I remembered everything. If I didn't or if they run out of food or something, you know how to get into the manor to get more. Old way in and out is still open."

Jason shifted, leaning his hip against the counter as he regarded Damian, blinking heavily. "Or I could just buy whatever it is."

"This isn't meant to be an imposition."

"Says the brat who decided who was doing this before so much as asking."

Damian deflated a little, "Look, if it's a problem –"

"No!" Jason startled himself by how violently he spit the word out, blinked at Damian's surprised look and looked away sheepishly. "No... it's fine. Definitely not an imposition." He hesitated and then added, "I sort of liked them here."

Damian's warm hand slid over his arm, squeezed for a moment and then retreated. "Okay, if you're sure."

"I am."

Nodding, Damian neatly folded the bag he'd brought everything in and held it out to Jason. "Alright, it's technically twenty eight days, but I think I'll be too late coming in that evening to make it over here, so I'll come by the morning after to get them around ten, is that okay?"

"That's fine." Jason took the bag and tucked it into an empty basket under his counter, following after Damian as he headed for the door. 

"Thanks for doing this."

"Don't thank me until you see if I turn it into a disaster."

Damian gave him a little smile and stepped out the door. "I trust you." 

Jason watched him walk down the driveway to where he'd parked his car and stood there until Damian backed out and headed off down the street. Shutting the door, Jason turned to find both dogs sitting a few feet behind him. Titus' tail was wagging a million miles an hour and Apollo's ears were perked, his attentive gaze searing straight into Jason's soul.

Jason skirted past them and went to sit on the couch, patting beside him and smiling when Titus jumped up and settled beside him. He stuck his feet out a bit further than he normally would and sighed in contentment as Apollo settled across them, his heavy weight making Jason feel secure. Dragging his laptop into his lap, he logged in, connected his VPN to Bruce's servers, and opened all his case files, settling in for a long day of nothing more than this.

\---

The first week was pretty much normal for Jason. He walked the dogs when he had spare time, let them in the backyard if not. He fed and watered them and kept himself just as busy otherwise.

It was the second week that left him with a cold pit of dread in his stomach. He could sense he was losing touch with reality again, had known it was bound to happen again soon given how long he'd gone without an episode. He found himself sitting down to eat and forgetting both dogs outside while he stared at his plate for hours, only the pitiful scratching and whimpering at his door making him open it to find Titus desperately wanting back in and Apollo looking wary. He found himself running his shower until all the hot water had gone without remembering how he'd stepped in at all.

Worse were the nights on Gotham's rooftops where he was desperately trying to make up for two missing masks in the night, where he found himself in another part of town without recalling how he got there, a giant hole of blackness behind him. Normally he would have holed himself up at home and rode it out where he couldn't cause any damage, but the choice had been stolen from him and he didn't actually know how else to deal with it.

The third day without sleep yielded him sitting on his couch, half-suited up, gaze distant and unfocused, hands white-knuckling the edge of the cushion he was seated upon, and it was with a jolt he came back to himself, a wet nose against his barely exposed wrist. He stared down at Apollo, heard the dog issue a small whimper and carefully drew himself back together, reaching up to scrub his hand over his eyes, he sighed.

"Yeah, I know, I was zoning." He swallowed thickly, leaned forward with his elbows on his thighs and studied the array of trash on his coffee table. "The forums all say it's called dissociation." He stared hard at the Chinese takeout box and couldn't find a single memory of having purchased it nor of eating it. "It's like giant blank spots in my mind. Sometimes I find myself where I was and know hours have passed. Sometimes I'm somewhere else without knowing what I've done."

Jason pulled himself up and reached for his gloves only to have another whine stop him. He stared down at Apollo, having to blink a few times to focus. "Yeah... you're right." He tossed the gloves back down on his sofa and plopped back down, putting one booted foot up on the cushion, leaning back heavily. "I'm a liability like this. Better the night have one less terror right now."

He didn't mean to drift, but he did, and eventually he fell asleep, just like that, mostly suited up, awkwardly draped on the couch, and when he woke to a dog nudging him a few hours later and felt the cold prickle of sweat on his skin, he knew what had been happening. He peeled himself up and stripped out of his gear, leaving a trail of it to the bathroom where he stood under the shower for a strangely appropriate period of time before stumbling to the bedroom and collapsing face-down on the soft sheets.

The bed dipped a little as Titus followed him up and when he patted and softly called Apollo, the other dog wedged him in on the other side and Jason draped an arm over him, snuggling against Titus' warm belly. The three of them drifted off and when Jason woke a little after ten in the morning, he was surprised he'd gotten as much sleep as he had. 

A few days drifted past, something of a routine settling in with Jason and Apollo and even Titus. Titus was like clockwork on wanting to go out and be walked and wanting to play, so it was easy to see when he'd zoned out again and slowly Apollo seemed to realize what was happening shouldn't be and began shoving his wet nose against Jason to pull him out of it as soon as he began to slip.

They all slept in the bed at night and Jason actually slept rather than half-sleeping through his own nightmares. 

When the nightmares did come, it wasn't nearly as bad. He'd get just far enough for Joker to start beating him with the crowbar and he'd be woken by Apollo and most nights he managed to go back to sleep after a few hours. When he dissociated, it was for shorter stints that usual and he normally found himself with Apollo by his side with the exception of being in the field and on those nights, he'd call it and come home and sit between the two dogs and drift in the safety net they provided. 

When Damian arrived to pick them up, exactly at ten in the morning, true to his word, Jason stood awkwardly in the center of his living room, feeling rather like the world was closing back in on him. Closing his eyes, he tipped his head back and stared up at the ceiling. 

"Tell me how to get one."

He heard Damian's movements cease and then the sound of Damian taking a seat. "A service dog?"

Jason just nodded mutely, his words feeling like they'd formed into a ball clogging his throat. 

"It's not easy if you do it right, getting a real service animal. Doesn't even have to be a dog, though they seem like they're easier to train in the long run. I can walk you through it... or..." he hesitated long enough Jason looked at him, saw the nerves in the way Damian held himself very _very_ still. "I could... you know, never mind, that would be an imposition." He stood abruptly. "I'll show you how."

Jason hesitated, wondering if he was reading into it all wrong, and then simply pressed on regardless. If he wasn't afraid of Gotham's night, he shouldn't be afraid of this either. "Or you and the dogs could move in. Not like there's not a second bedroom. Plus, it's closer to the university."

Damian instantly seemed to relax, his entire body easing back into the cool cucumber he'd previously been. He watched Damian's tongue dart across his lips and then the slow pull of his lips upward, tiny as it was. "Just want me for my dogs. I see how it is."

Jason huffed out a laugh. "You know how it is."

Smile dazzling now, achingly close to rivaling Dick's thousand-watt ray of sunshine, Damian just shrugged. "I don't, but I'll learn. Though... you should know," he looked a bit more somber, gaze casting over Apollo, "I did it on purpose." He gestured at the dog, "Leaving him with you. He's trained for PTSD and I just wanted to help. Like someone helped me." He crossed his arms over his chest and tried to look flippant, though he failed miserably. "His name is Apollo because of who told me about the great help service animals provided." His fingers tightened on his arms and then released and Jason watched as he tucked his hands in his pockets, recognizing it for what it was now that he knew to look for it. "We've all got issues. It's part of the job we do. We just have to get our help where we can, that's all." He gave Jason another tiny smile. 

"I'll start moving in tomorrow."

Jason watched him leave, stared at him as he walked down the driveway and closed his eyes and listened to him pull out. It felt good this way. Good to know he wasn't going to be alone, good to know he was picking up the pieces that had been scattered since he'd come back from the dead. Good to know it wasn't just him and it wasn't just Damian. It was so many of their community falling to pieces and somehow that made him feel stronger. 

He pushed away from the door and closed and locked it, smiling as he settled amidst the dogs and curled up, praying for tomorrow to come and Damian to appear and the rest of his life to change.


End file.
